How Do You Handle Holiday Plans When Your Co-Parent Wants Christmas Eve AND Christmas Day?

The holidays are a magical time, especially for children, but they can also bring unique challenges for co-parents. One of the most common sources of tension is deciding how to split time during the holidays. What happens when your co-parent wants both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day? How can you navigate this situation while keeping the focus on your child’s joy and well-being?

This month, as we focus on the word Endure, it’s important to remember that endurance isn’t just about surviving difficult moments—it’s about maintaining grace, resilience, and perspective as you work through life’s challenges. Co-parenting during the holidays is no exception.

Accordingly, when co-parenting holiday schedules become a source of conflict, it’s essential to approach the situation with creativity, empathy, and a focus on collaboration. Here are some strategies to help you navigate disputes and create a joyful holiday experience for your child:

Keep the Focus on Your Child’s Happiness

It’s easy to get caught up in personal frustrations or disagreements, but it’s crucial to prioritize what’s best for your child. Ask yourself:

• How will this arrangement impact my child’s emotional well-being?

• Am I creating an environment where they feel loved and supported by BOTH parents?

At the heart of every co-parenting decision should be the well-being of your child. Instead of approaching the holidays as “winning” or “losing” time, consider what arrangement will create the most joy and stability for them. Children benefit from seeing their parents work together, even in challenging situations. When you focus on your child’s happiness, you often find creative ways to compromise and ensure the holidays are filled with love, not tension.

Alternate Holidays

One common solution is to alternate holidays each year. This solution is one of the most widely used because it’s simple and fair. By alternating holidays like Christmas Eve and Christmas Day each year, both parents have the opportunity to enjoy uninterrupted time with their children.
For example:

• In odd-numbered years, one parent has Christmas Eve, while the other has Christmas Day.

• In even-numbered years, the schedule switches.

This system provides predictability, which is important for children and parents alike, and avoids repetitive arguments about “who gets what” each year. Instead, this method ensures that both parents have quality time during this special season.

Split the Day

If alternating holidays doesn’t work for your family, consider splitting the day. Splitting the holiday can be a great way for both parents to enjoy quality time with their child, though it does require careful planning.
Here’s how this could work:

• One parent has the morning through midday (e.g., 8:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.) to open presents, have breakfast, and enjoy family activities.

• The other parent has the afternoon and evening (e.g., 2:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.) to host a holiday dinner and continue the festivities.

While splitting the day requires coordination, clear communication, and cooperation, it can work well for families who live in close proximity and value the importance of shared time. If done right, this method allows your child to celebrate with both parents on the same day.

Create New Traditions

If sharing the day feels too complicated, consider creating your own special holiday traditions on an alternate date. Sometimes, letting go of traditional expectations can reduce holiday stress and create exciting new memories. If one parent celebrates with the child on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, the other can create a unique celebration on another day.

Ideas include:

• Hosting a “Christmas Eve Eve” celebration on December 23rd with presents, decorations, and festive meals.

• Choosing a weekend close to the holidays to create your own tradition, such as a family outing, movie marathon, or baking day.

This flexibility can reduce stress and give everyone more time to enjoy the season. The key is to focus on the quality of time spent together rather than the specific date on the calendar.

Use Your Parenting Plan as a Guide

If you already have a court-ordered parenting plan, it may outline holiday custody schedules. Review it to determine if there’s a clear structure for dividing time. If the plan is outdated or unclear, this may be an opportunity to revisit and modify it.
If you don’t yet have a formal parenting plan, consider creating one with the help of a family law attorney. A well-crafted plan will not only address holidays but also outline schedules for vacations, birthdays, and other important events, reducing future disputes.

Incorporate Virtual Visits

In cases where one parent is unable to spend physical time with the child on the holiday due to distance or other constraints, consider incorporating virtual visits. A scheduled video call can allow the child to share special moments, such as opening presents or saying hello to extended family. Virtual visits can also serve as a meaningful way for both parents to feel involved in the holiday, even when apart.

Seek Mediation When Necessary

If negotiations about holiday schedules become too contentious, a neutral mediator can help both parents reach an agreement. Mediation provides a safe, structured environment to voice concerns and find compromises that prioritize the child’s best interests. It can also help prevent unnecessary escalation into court battles.

Keep Extended Families in Mind

The holidays often involve not just parents but also grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other extended family members. Work together to ensure the child has time to enjoy traditions with both sides of their family, which fosters a sense of belonging and connection. This might mean scheduling separate gatherings or alternating larger family events.

Practice Flexibility and Grace

Life doesn’t always go as planned, and unforeseen circumstances (like bad weather or family emergencies) can disrupt even the most well-thought-out schedule. Practice flexibility and extend grace to your co-parent when changes arise. When both parents prioritize goodwill and cooperation, it sets a positive example for the child and strengthens co-parenting relationships.

Consider the Child’s Age and Preferences

As children grow older, their needs and preferences change. Younger children may thrive on structured schedules, while teenagers might want input on where and how they spend their holidays. Including your child in age-appropriate discussions about holiday plans can help them feel valued and reduce anxiety about transitions.

 Encouragement for the Season

The holidays can feel emotionally charged, but they are also an opportunity to practice endurance. Enduring doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings or frustrations—it means focusing on what truly matters and finding strength to rise above the conflict. By keeping the focus on your child, communicating with patience, and remaining flexible, you can transform what could be a stressful situation into one filled with peace and shared joy.

Remember that co-parenting challenges don’t define the holiday season—your love, presence, and efforts to create a nurturing environment for your child do.

Need Help? We’re Here for You

If you’re struggling to create or modify a parenting plan that works for your family, don’t hesitate to reach out. At Mothershed Law, we understand the complexities of co-parenting, especially during the holidays. Our goal is to help you find solutions that reduce stress and create lasting harmony for your family.

Schedule a consultation with us today, and let’s work together to create a plan that prioritizes your child’s happiness while giving you the clarity and peace of mind you deserve.

This holiday season, embrace endurance—and trust that brighter days are ahead.